Changes Are A’Comin

Hi Munch,

Well, the holidays are here! We’ve had gift baskets arrive in our office each week; at least three holiday parties with more on the way; Christmas trees crowd the sidewalks in Eastern Market.

And with the holidays comes the new year: new beginnings and new adventures.

As the end of this year has foretold, I think 2016 will bring lots of changes. I don’t want to jinx anything or get my expectations too high, but just realistically I think this year will be different for all of us. For the past three years, I’ve been so used to every year repeating itself with slightly different variations. Here in DC we’ve established routines and patterns that have become annual. I know what to expect with each coming season. Summer means volleyball, barbeques, tennis and picnics. Fall means apple picking, hiking, and Danielle’s birthday. Winter means board games and dinner parties. Spring means festivals and cherry blossoms. For the past three years, while small changes are made each year, the larger theme has stayed the same.

This year, I know it won’t be the same. Matthew is moving to the West Coast, you are splitting time between St. Petersburg and Belarus and have a whole new career. Evan will probably leave for NYC in the next few months. Marina has a boyfriend, my friend John has left DC and is traveling the country in a van. Sam has gotten into grad school and Simone and Alison will hear back soon.

It’s terrifying, but at the same time, a relief. Now that I have these routines in DC, I know that it is time to move on, to experience something new. I hope I don’t get ahead of myself as I often do, but I’m excited for the uncertainty that lies ahead. I am scared to make big changes by myself, without a partner or a known path. I hope I have someone to make these changes with, but if not, I’m glad that my friends are making changes because it will encourage me to as well, even if I have to do it on my own. This year, I hope I can be bolder, and focused, and follow through with my ambitions.

Quick note on your last post: I agree. It’s all about balance. We need to treat our bodies well because they are the vessels that carry us through life. But we can’t confuse that with torturing our bodies for society. It’s hard to know sometimes whether I’m doing something for society or for myself. I try to think deeply about what I do to my body and what I gain from it. It’s hard to honor it, but I hope that I do more often than not.

PS. I can’t wait till you read Grandma Lenore’s book. I really do think it’s amazing.

PPS. Was this post too short? I want to say more, but that is all I think I want to say on this subject right now. Maybe if you write your next post soon, I can write more on different topics.

PPS. Well, one thing I do want to talk about is presents. I hate presents. I hate the anxiety of spending money, of the fear that the person won’t like it, of the fear that I won’t like the ones I receive. Of wasting money that no one has. But Matthew gave us all gifts last night and it did give me some warm fuzzies. I felt appreciated and cared about. I hate how I liked it. Bottom line is it made me think, maybe I should give gifts. (But then I go to buy them and the fear sets in that the person won’t like it and I remember why I hate them.)

XOXO. Love you.

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